As many of you know by now we are expecting some big changes here.......Daddy is going off to serve in a less than desirable location while little man and I stay at home and have a baby and adjust to life without daddy. I won't get on my emotional rant too bad today but all I can say is thanks for all your support. We are doing much better now that there are actual orders and dates and no when and where hanging over our heads like for the last month.
We are just preparing but as the time closes in it seems to feel there is much pressure to get things done and not leave a thing unsaid. I know Daddy is just ready to go and get it over with and in a way me too except you really don't want them to leave because you are scared and fearful of being by yourself for so long. Luckily I have the munchkin to keep me busy and one coming. Mommy can do this , I can handle it but it's hard to see little man with daddy and loving on him and playing with him it almost brings me to tears each and every time because I don't know how to tell him where daddy is when he leaves and how will I hold it together when he asks for Daddy. That is what is killing me.....but I will do my best and keep things as normal as possible and cry in the shower I suppose. Can't let the little man see me cry! And we are getting a "Daddy Doll" to carry.
We have decided to stay here in our current location, or the Navy decided for us because we were just shy of moving home by 9 days. However, in all honesty I dont' know that I would have anyway. It would have put us moving cross country 3 times in a little over 18 months and that's a lot with 2 kids and 3 dogs. It's hard for people to understand why you wouldn't just do it anyway but when we move as much as we do already......whew....and by the time I got settled in who knows where it would be time to pack up and move again. It's also hard for people to understand that you need to feel part of something and feel connected to what your husband is off doing. By being in a military community I feel the support and the unspoken words, it's like a club you have joined and it's what keeps you going knowing that someone down the street is experiencing the same thing. I also want to keep things as normal as possible for little man and for my sanity to make the time go by faster. Once you have been here it's very hard to explain to people who haven't been here although they all are sympathizing they can't really know or imagine your emotions and the strength it takes to get up everyday and keep going when inside you are breaking.......that's where support and Faith come in......thank goodness I have both.
There may be a chance that we are going home for the long winter here but all depends on the baby and how she is settling and little man as well. It's going to be a big year for him, big boy bed, potty training, daddy leaving , baby sister, etc. so we won't disrupt his routine too much.....we'll see. Also depends on if daddy gets R&R during holidays or not, if so we'll stay here and give him a chance to rest and get to know his baby girl.....maybe we'll go to Hawaii or meet up there.
It would be a long drive or flight either way.....and I can't just go home and leave my dogs for so long not to mention it would cost a small fortune to do so.......on another subject, why is is so hard to find a reasonable kennel? I don't need tv's and couches for my dogs......just a place to run and play and to be fed without charging $5-10 / dog for 30 minutes of playtime........CRAZY!!!!!!!!!
Okay that was my rant..........
On a different note little man is using his imagination a lot lately .......he talks to his stuffed animals and rides them on his tricycle, they sit at the table to eat with us....it's precious. He talks so much now, is this my payback?? He loves Curious George and Mickey Mouse and Elmo. He is learning about snot and "boogies" and often comes to me with a big boogie on his finger which is lovely. Last night I found two footballs in his bed......does this mean he will be a quarterback? I would prefer he play soccer but sure he will love football since daddy is already teaching him to catch the football, which he can........absolutely amazing he can do so much. Each day we learn from him. Anyway, we'll post more later with some more pictures.
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